She wants revenge
|David Mitchell:||I will act unbelievably posh and heartwrenchingly lonely, only to burst out with a meaningless rant in 3...2...1...|
|Stephen Fry:||Good evening good evening good EEEEEEVENING DARLING OH I LOVE YOU ALL YOU MAKE ME FEEL SO INTELLIGENT LET'S HAVE A JOLLY GOOD QUIZ SHALL WE?|
|Russell Howard:||Let me tell you a story about my adorable and crazy family while simultaneously being adorable and crazy.|
|Jon Richardson:||WASH YOUR HANDS BEFORE YOU TOUCH ME!!! Oh, I'm so lonely...|
|Noel Fielding:||So once there was this walrus named Georgie and he floated around the sky for a bit and then he landed and turned into a unicorn and mowed over a group of tourists. Do you like my cape?|
|Miranda Hart:||-falls over-|
|Sarah Millican:||Aren't I cute? Forgive me while I swear for a bit and tell embarrassing stories about my boyfriend.|
|Jack Whitehall:||I'm going to sit here being adorably posh while complaining about how much I hate Robert Pattinson.|
|Simon Amstell:||I'm precious and every girl in the audience cried when they found out I was gay.|
‘The Pteriffic Pterosaurs’ by Luis Rey
The header is an extract from a larger image of some of the biggest and most bizarre crests going and I have put up a copy of the original here to show off both Luis Rey’s artwork and the pterosaurs in all their bizarre glory. Shown are (L-R): Tropegnathus(by a nose), Dsungaripterus (curvy), Tupuxuara, then Tapejara imperator top – (soon to be renamed), Caulkicephalus (middle – orangey) and finally Nyctosaurus (actually seen with a reduced posterior bar – most unlike Luis to miss out on the opportunity to make something bigger!). These are all derived pterodactyloids, but actually crests extend across the whole of Pterosauria and there is barely a clade that does not have a crest of some form or another.
E.T. Was Basically A Medical Catastrophe
A case report in the British Medical Journal (available here for those with access) has studied the famous 1982 temporary stranding of a young alien life form in suburban southern California. After an in-depth analysis of gross anatomy and the E.T.’s forced hospitalization, the so-called “alien botanist” is determined to be essentially a medical catastrophe, presenting multiple severe pathologies and medical maladies.
Who approved this guy for spaceflight?
A list of anatomical abnormalities:
- Possible Perthe’s disease (incorrect formation of the femur)
- Lower limb lymphoedema (swelling of the stubby legs)
- Centripetal adiposity, possible metabolic syndrome (he’s basically chubby)
- Congenital dextrocardia (not only does his heart glow, it’s completely out of order)
- Functional acetaldehyde dehydrogenase deficiency (extreme intoxication and disorientation after merely one can of beer)
- Complete absence of genitalia
- Clubbed digits (the odd swelling at the tip of his remarkably luminous fingertip)
After entering a state of shock and delrium, perhaps from malnutrition due to a diet consisting solely of beer and Reese’s Pieces, he entered cardiac arrest and failed to respond to resuscitation. His body was placed in the freezer room quickly enough to prevent brain damage from lack of oxygen, however.
This preservation of brain function was key as ”ET made an exceptional functional recovery, balancing in the basket of Elliott’s bicycle and performing feats of telekinesis en route to the site of his eventual departure.”
Perhaps if extraterrestrial travelers will carry more complete medical history or medical ID bracelets, better treatment may be applied in future cases.